Sunday, 27 February 2011

Funny Farm 'Come Dine with Me'

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?.....  Yup!  This birdie-table could do with a little TLC, and time is fast approaching, me thinks, for another episode of "Wellie's Workshop".   Get that trusty toolbox out Sheila!

 I shall own up straight away, and assure you that this brilliant in-flight action shot is nothing to do with my photographic capabilities.  I had set up the Finepix on the tripod in the conservatory, securing all the nuts and bolts on the swivels, knobs'n'whistles, in order that, short of tripping over the tripod, the lense was indeed positioned correctly for a taste of Wellie's Funny Farm version of  'Come Dine With Me'.
And there was an ulterior motive on my part, because earlier, I rather bumbled into the conservatory in my very fleecy cream dressing-gown, mug of tea in one hand, slice of toast in the other, and scared away my precious Nuthatch, who was having his own brekkie on the nutfeeder.  I was so cross with myself Children, that I had to cover The Cat's ears for a moment or two.......

So, deducing that my Nuthatch must have a bit of an appetite on, I put down my tea and toast, slipped off my slippers, slipped into my RHS Vegetable Wellingtons (as ya do!), and loaded the table up with Sunflower Seeds.  I spent the next few hours missing him by 'a cat's whisker', until finally.....BINGO!  Clever Wellie.

So, anyway.  After that little triumph, I ascended to Wellie Towers and got dressed.  Looking in the mirror, I pondered if it was the lack of 'face slap' that had scared my little feathered friend away, but ultimately decided not to put any on, nor to dwell on it further...

Sometime in the last fortnight, having a spare 5 minutes, I thought that the contents of my two-year-old compost bin needed using, so I treated my Rhubarb to a barrow-load, and covered the mound with a large pot to exclude the light.  I'm rather proud of the superior structure and darkness of my home-made compost, but Trousers assures me that it's because he P's on it so often.  (Not this winter you haven't mate!), and just about to cook dinner, so I'll leave that thought with you!

Hands up all you Children who grew up loving Johnny Morris on the television?  So, here, just for you, is a little bit of nostalgia:
"There's that nutty girl again"..... "I know. What's she got stuck to the front of her face?"...  "Dunno. Ask her". ..  "No, you ask her".....  "Anyway, I've got more freckles than you".... "I know?" ..... "Quick! she's coming, run away!" 
BC makes me laugh out loud every day, and understands every word that I say, which is why she is so special to me.  You ask her if she wants to go out 'The Front', she looks at you, does, and knocks on the door when she's ready to come back in?  People only believe me when they witness it for themselves, as did Pat & Alan just the other day whilst we were having a little Village Produce Show Meeting round the dining table in the hall.  Now don't be silly, of course she doesn't use The Door Knocker, Doh?

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

3-2-1....... YOU'RE BACK IN THE ROOM.....

..and I've found someone rather spesh, as you can see, to mesmerize you back into the room, because Shrek here is just going to bully you rather than to wish each and every one of you, friends and fiends alike, the warmest of welcomes back to Wellie's Funny Farm Blog.... Let's face it, if you're sad enough to actually know you want to read my blog, then you know you're in the right place, no?!

When I tell you that he has almost had my hand off every day for the last fortnight through the gate, that's no word of a porky.  I have a plethora of Ivy growing in my garden, and  the reason he doesn't, is because he's eaten it all in his.  And sheep do completely go Bonkers for Ivy.  So every time Shrek even catches a glimpse of me in the garden, he runs towards me in a similar vein as Trousers does if I've got a homemade Pizza in my hand Children....Or a Chocolate Biscuit, or a Tube of Smarties...or a piece of cheese.

Oh! And please do feel free to crack open a couple of  'Tinnies' any of you Sheilas, or pop a cork on a rather lovely Grigio whilst you reacquaint yourself with this space that I love to live in, because I only write to maximise my own enjoyment and amuse myself, and as is famously quoted, if you're not in the cheap seats, just rattle your jewellry.  But do sit back and enjoy.....because I can actually 'go on a bit'..?.!

On a number of occasions late last year, I'd be enjoying my lunch in the farmhouse kitchen or the conservatory, and look up from the pages of my Teach Yourself To Cook, or Teach Yourself to Grow Vegetables books, and unwittingly witness Shrek wispering into the ear of his 'Today Girlfriend'.
It would be a downright lie if I told you that he only had just the one girlfriend every day though Children....

Needless to say, Shrek did a huge amount of wispering in the latter months of last year, and when I've not got my nose in the pages of Shouldn't I Write My Own Book, Now in the Spring, Summer and Autumn Pages of my own mind........... I'm just adorably in love once again.?

The Lambs seems to be popping out slowly this year (or am I just way too excited and willing it to happen quicker?), but I still insist on naming as many as I can think of names for, even knowing 'what's what' for their future, because this is Farming, and they have a really, really fantastic life here.

So let me introduce you to some of Shrek's firstest offspring:

These are Persil, Daz and Omo, and only once so far have they sucked my thumb through the gate thinking that they could get milk from it!
Now way too wise for that trick a second time Missus!!, which isn't before time, because their little teeth do sprout quicker than you know it!

But they continue to go "Me Miss, Me Me Me" when I've got the camera out, so we should get some fabulous shots of them yet.

 And then I found my dad's camera tripod in the shed (and I just knew that I'd still got that for a reason, after all of these years, because my dad was a fantastic photographer, and he bought me my first proper Nikon, but for whatever reasons, him or me, the patience was never there to be taught or learned, which now, makes me incredibly cross witih myself, because it must have been my fault ).

I've always adored my garden birds, and I can't tell you how excited I am to put tripod and camera together now at the age of 50 and really start to enjoy this artform, because it's the subject-matter that excites me.  I'm sure that I'm not incapable to absorbing the more complicated elements now of how to perfect what I did absorb from my lovely Dad.
And I'm only just beginning to acquaint myself with our new one, so forgive my photographic faux pas for now, eh?

 And being in the right place at the right time does help rather a lot if you're honoured at any given moment to capture beauty.

My Residential Robin knows only too well, that when Wellie is looking her scruffiest worst, comes out into the garden in a pair of lace-up-wellies, a pair of kneepads, a dodgy hat and has her earphones on....... you can guarantee she's about to do some serious gardening.....losing herself for hours and hours,
and hopefully unearth a few earthworms!
Until I can be a little more reverent and inventive, I've adopted a kind of James May approach, and named my Garden Robin..........
What about You?!X

I'm really looking forward to being able to express myself creatively once again after so long, and I sincerely hope that you will love it yourself, and get you friends interested in reading my blog as well.

In the meantime,
Bless You for Being Here.
And I remain Your Friend,