Monday, 26 December 2011

The Least That I Can Do Is Care.....

....And This Chrismas, it's to tell you that Trousers is always brilliant at Being Him.  He makes me laugh all year long, and makes me cry laughing, sometimes for seconds on end?, and I sometimes forget just what he means to me in the small scale of this big world.  All year round we truck along, living, as we do... a couple....with no ankle-biters to speak of, but with a cat that has a sense of humour to die for, sent to us from heaven, absolutely on purpose, to make every single day of our lives very special, to make up for it....and I couldn't wish for a better wish to come true in either one of them.

Does this look like a man that's 'Burning CDs?'.... Forgive me, but I don't see bonfire smoke...?
Trousers went Christmas Shopping, and told me he had 'an Epiphany', but I knew what he meant, because on Christmas Day he gave me an Ipiphany, which has brought your Auntie Wellie into the 2012 Century, for to listen to her eclectic music tastes all day every day, tickling her musical fancy wherever she is, from Tom Waits to Juliet Turner.  And if I can fathom how to get an FM signal between Classic and the other one that isn't Radio 2 as well on it before I go nuts, I'll be smiling from Ear to Ear/Here to Here.

BLOKES, LOOK AWAY?........Girlfriends, Girlfriends, Girlfriends.....  Janet Reger Undies used to be exclusively for ladies with many more pennies than you and I, but I promise you, now they are much more affordable for the likes of us, and if You or Your Loved One want anything as gorgeous as these, you have Trousers now to Thank for showing you these morsels of delight. (Nod Nod, Wink Wink, Say No More?!) 
But it's personal touches of L O V E Boxes, which I LOVED, (but could have spelled VOLE, if I'd opened them in the wrong order) sporting the matching knickers, and all were a bottom size of 12, which I am not remotely.  How easily one can fall from grace Children?

 And let's face it, Trousers makes me feel like A Pretty Woman, like Julia Roberts, in Richard Gere's Penthouse Bath, singing my heart out to my very first chosen i-wotsit download in my entire life.

As insignificant as we all are in this world, I'd like to end my own year, asking you to join me in listening to Kid Rock, Marty McBride and TI.

I can't think of a nicer sentiment to start 2012 in,
The Least That I Can Do Is Care....X

My Love To Each And Every Single One Of You
Every Day, Do Something Nice For Someone Else.X,

Monday, 19 December 2011

A Festive Kick Inside.....

Naivety in your own mind, but Nativity in mine, because you may be thinking that this is just another Wellie photographic shot of a Funny Farmhouse Rainbow.... and you'd be entirely wrong my friends.  This Rainbow stops only where the mechanics of the working farm actually begins....

At the end of this Rainbow, IS a Yellow Brick Road, but no Dorothy with Red Shoes, just A WellieGirl in mucky WellieBoots, watching and learning, looking and loving.  The Ewes, expertly being herded 'One Man and His Dog'-stylie by Ben and Shep into this corner, are where gorgeous little Spring Lambs are counted inside Mummies Tummies well before they are even born, and this is only just a part of this side of The Funny Farm.  It 'rocks' for me on a monumental scale, every hour of every day, every week, every month and every year, and if I died and went to Heaven tomorrow, I'd have to come back for holidays at least twice a week?

Trousers bought 3 bottles of red wine for a tenner on his way home s'evening, because I'd not got the next batch of homebrewed red ready yet, and what he bought was so Rubbash that I had to turn it into 'Mulled' for him, which every Muppet knows, doesn't make it less Rubbash?!

But it's a nice lesson learned on his part, because I think he appreciates the time it takes to put these things together for him now. 
With "Lashings of Ginger Beer" on the go as well Children, I think that Enid Blyton would be very proud of me if she were alive this Christmas......

I'm loving your comments starting to come in now: Jelliebabe, Beefy & Squirrel, and huge hugs to all three of you who have been such fabulous supporters here for me. X.

Mindful of tragedies around other corners of our globe, my love to you and yours', keep safe, keep warm, and I'll see you next time.X

Wednesday, 14 December 2011


And let's face it.... it's a lot cheaper than going to the shops, buying a Crimble Card'n'A Stamp, going to post it.... to somewhere ABROAD, waiting  an age for one in return, spending loads of time crossing people off your Chrissy Card List for those that can't be @rsed to send one back???!

So, like my friend Jelliebabe, you can save yourself a fortune, and wish Me, Trousers and my Gardening Cat a very merry one, and encourage me to continue writing my Funny Farm Blog for you in 2012, by becoming A Funny Farm Follower, and leaving me messages 'to your hearts content' throughout the year.
(And may I just completely 'Name Drop' now, just because I can, that my very very favourite Denis Cotter Irish Vegetarian Chef has viewed my blog this year, and his girlfriend, Maureen, left me a lovely comment a few months back, for which I'm eternally grateful).  Merry Christmas Denis and Maureen.X.

Each and every one of you are most welcome as you visit The Funny Farm Blog this Festive Season, whether it be Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter throughout the very British Seasons, whether I  be photographing The Farm, The Aminals, The Gardening Cat, The Fruit'n'Veg, The Herbs'n'Flowers, My Next Novelty Cake, Preserves, or The Love Of My Life.....
..Tiz The Season To Be Jolly right now?
Mmmm......but now IS the time to lock your Dad in the Downstairs' Cupboard Children, so that his 'Dad Dancing' doesn't spoil any of your Festivities before The Noo Year is out?!
Normally, The Cat and I put a small trail of Cheese leading into The Cellar.....?!
Around The World, you've taken to following my Blog, and I thought it would be incredibly beautiful to join all of our hands right now, take a look at each other, and smile into each others' eyes.
It's up to you as an individual as to how long you want to maintain eye contact with each other, but here, I could look into your eyes, and hold your hand forever.  So - take yours' in mine right now and hold it, because we have:.........

Australia, Austria, Botswana, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Czech Republic, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iran, Ireland, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, Latvia, Lebanon, Mauritius, Moldova, Netherlands, Pakistan, Portugal, Poland, Phillippines, Russia, Spain, Singapore, Slovenia, Slovakia, Sweden, Switzerland, South Korea, Turkey, United Kingdom, United States, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates and Venesuela.  (and Welcome to you in New Zealand today!X)

All of you have 'Blown My Frock Up' by reading what I've written this year, and for that I sincerely Thank You.X

Keep Safe, Stay Warm, Hug The Ones You Love, and I'll See You Next Time.X

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Welcome to Wellie's Workshop

 Oh no - my mistake, it's The Kitchen Table!.......  But with our friends Gordon and Christine coming to stay at The Funny Farm this weekend, I had to 'Get A Wriggle On' and start making his birthday cake.  Gordon is a very skilled Carpenter Children, so Wellie knew that only the right tools for the right job would do if her next novelty cake was to be a success. 

 I started nervously by fashioning a few screws and nails, gaining confidence with two rawplugs and a tapemeasure - stopping little and often for Dutch Courage - or was it Pinot Grigio?........ a spirit level here, a screwdriver there, a chisel and some woodglue, until finally, with my eyes shut, hands tied behind my back, the saw and drill magically appeared like I knew what I was doing.  Amazing!
 I think the smile on Gordie's face says it all.  And if you're thinking that you've seen his face before, you wouldn't be wrong.  Take a closer look...
Yup! Gordon IS that talented Carpenter you saw on BBC1's special televised Royal British Legion Countryfile just a few weeks ago.  He was putting the finishing touches to the Mission Impossible gigantic Poppy I told you about in a previous Blog. Trousers and Gordie built and painted it especially for the programme to proudly join the chalky badges on that steep Fovant hillside.

For now, Stay Safe, Keep Warm, and I'll see you next time.X

Thursday, 1 December 2011

First Wellie Letter to Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

Put the Paintbrush down, step away from the Grip Fill, Breathe, and R.E.L.A.X.......

(To be perfectly honest, Wellie absolutely adored the Janet Reger Bra & Matching Wotsits last Christmas, Santa, and wondered whether the same Elf was available to shop for you again this year Sweetheart?)

Honestly, if you're as passionate as I am about growing fruit and vegetables, herbs and flowers, you'll already have an unsightly Compost Heap kind of Hubble-Bubble-Toil'n'Troubling in the darkest, furthest corner of your garden, which is brilliant, because that is most definitely 'The Engine Room' of your entire plot.... But during the winter months, exactly who, in their right minds, wants to put their Wellies and Waterproofs on to take a couple of Kitchen Peelings out there, when you could have an indoor equivalent, with care, procuring you the most valuable of nutrient-richness to hand for seed-sowing in the Spring months?

My friend Emma, who is incredibly Green, has treated herself to one already.
Wellie being Wellie, has read The Destruction Manual, will be licking her finger, sticking it in the air, seeing which way the wind is blowing, and will attempt to make her own 'Wellie Workshop Wormery' in the New Year with bits of 4x2/2x4 (Sheila Joke, obviously!).

So, if the Granny'n'Gramps Brussel Sprout Farting Competitions leave you feeling less than entertained over the festive period, Wellie's Funny Farm Blog will surely be one to watch during Christmas for sheer entertainment factor, whether you live on Planet Earth, or not..

Talking of which, when I proffered my WORLDWIDE HUG from The Funny Farm Blog just ever so recently, I didn't purposely set out for the entire world to start reading my blog, only to hug and applaude those of you who already do. So a very warm welcome to Hong Kong and Japan today.

You're all either dead rich and hopping all over the world on holiday, or texting your mates to come join in the fun, because the entire world are starting to sit on my proverbial doorstep.

Either way, I love you being here.

Keep Safe, Keep Warm, And I'll See You Next Time.