Thursday, 1 December 2011
First Wellie Letter to Santa Claus
Put the Paintbrush down, step away from the Grip Fill, Breathe, and R.E.L.A.X.......
(To be perfectly honest, Wellie absolutely adored the Janet Reger Bra & Matching Wotsits last Christmas, Santa, and wondered whether the same Elf was available to shop for you again this year Sweetheart?)
Honestly, if you're as passionate as I am about growing fruit and vegetables, herbs and flowers, you'll already have an unsightly Compost Heap kind of Hubble-Bubble-Toil'n'Troubling in the darkest, furthest corner of your garden, which is brilliant, because that is most definitely 'The Engine Room' of your entire plot.... But during the winter months, exactly who, in their right minds, wants to put their Wellies and Waterproofs on to take a couple of Kitchen Peelings out there, when you could have an indoor equivalent, with care, procuring you the most valuable of nutrient-richness to hand for seed-sowing in the Spring months?
My friend Emma, who is incredibly Green, has treated herself to one already.
Wellie being Wellie, has read The Destruction Manual, will be licking her finger, sticking it in the air, seeing which way the wind is blowing, and will attempt to make her own 'Wellie Workshop Wormery' in the New Year with bits of 4x2/2x4 (Sheila Joke, obviously!).
So, if the Granny'n'Gramps Brussel Sprout Farting Competitions leave you feeling less than entertained over the festive period, Wellie's Funny Farm Blog will surely be one to watch during Christmas for sheer entertainment factor, whether you live on Planet Earth, or not..
Talking of which, when I proffered my WORLDWIDE HUG from The Funny Farm Blog just ever so recently, I didn't purposely set out for the entire world to start reading my blog, only to hug and applaude those of you who already do. So a very warm welcome to Hong Kong and Japan today.
You're all either dead rich and hopping all over the world on holiday, or texting your mates to come join in the fun, because the entire world are starting to sit on my proverbial doorstep.
Either way, I love you being here.
Keep Safe, Keep Warm, And I'll See You Next Time.