The Itton Village Produce Show happened yesterday, (she said, not quite believing that she isn't sporting a major head injury from some quite specific low-flying Teddies...!)
The Stewards I'd chosen to assist The Judges did an amazing job considering that it was their first time. Grace (a spritely 92) took money on the door, for a while...! Jean and Alex were expertly OC Tea'n'Scones. Roger Dodger badgered everyone drawing breath in the hall to buy his Raffle tickets, (majority of prize-winners now owning a considerable amount of Wellie's unwanted books, scarves and oddments!) and my huggy mate Barbara, and Gina made the most amazing cakes and sweet treats for The Cake Stall. Trousers and I rowed our way through The Funny Farm Kitchen to procure lunch for everyone, and I'm quietly confident honey that the blood stains will come out of the curtains on a boil wash?!
I'm still not quite sure how I managed to make such a monumental Cock Up of the Final Hurdle though:
On the table, were eleven trophies, all of which I'd placed a note inside as to 'what they were called' and 'which section they related to'. The problem seemed to arise, because the information on the piece of paper in front of me only correlated to four of them, the other seven trophy winners remaining Itton's Best Kept Secret, until I sift through the paperwork in the next day or so.
Have you ever wished the ground would open up and swallow you in without a trace Children?
Wellie has ...
Still, the number of people who sought me out to congratulate me on such a fabulous, and well-attended Show, was the thing that touched me most, all of them saying that it was about time it had 'a bit of a shake up'...
The number of entries in the show, and the overall quality was outstanding, and whilst I pride myself on my Smug Trugs, I only achieved a Second. All the more wounding, as the judge marked me down because he indicated that I'd scrubbed my vegetables, which I hadn't? "I rather suspect", she said in a stage whisper, "that the judge recognised Storming Norman's excellent Show Standard Veg he's been judging for the past 7 years, because mine is more, shall we say Kitchen Standard" Doh!
I won a First for my up-close-and-personal photo of a ewe with her two newly-born twins through the garden gate of The Funny Farm, but Paulie's mate Pip only went and won Best In Show Photograph didn't he?