Sshh! It's A Secret?

 To be perfectly honest with you, until I invited a brilliant young lad from the village round a few weeks ago to do a valued line-drawing of my Fert'n'Liza Flobalob Flowerpot Peeps for the 2012 Itton Village Show Schedule, I'd quite forgotten myself how gorgeous these guys are.
It came as some surprise to me that the televisual Bill and Ben have reacquainted themselves with Jo Public for a whole new generation or three, but I'm actually quite 'blown away' that he thought these 'real life' ones were so brilliant....  To me, that's one of the nicest compliments I've had in ages.

I think it's true sometimes, that you neglect to realise your own self-worth, and the things that you're truly good at, until someone stops and points it out to you.  Even the littleist things that you're good at can mean a mountain to you if someone else appreciates them, and actually tells you so?

Down on The Funny Farm, there's a queue for free School Milk here!  At school, when free School Milk was  a reality, I made friends with every single one of my classmates that hated milk, because I just adored it.

Then, of course, we get back into the world of advertising, when that cocky little blond kid declared that 'The Milky Bars are on ME!', and this particular Ewe is in no mood to celebrate.  And where the feck is Father?

With the sheer number of Wild Kats'n'Kittens in the yard now, it's rather a gorgeous 'scampering' of tiny paws whenever I approach to take photos, but as they settle to watch me from a distance in amongst the bales, it's rather comforting to know that BC will be bringing one less Rat, Shrew or Mouse into my Kitchen.

Our local Parish Magazine has recently taken on the 'Guess The Caption' Competition, and I am seriously loving the new-look funky magazine, but also that there's an amazing amount of 'talent' out there, and an even more amazing amount of humour developing with it?  And that's just what this life needs more of.

"I've told you.....The Milky Bars are somewhere else?!"

Okay, so we come to The Secret!  Our friends were collecting their two new piglets this weekend:

I'd got it all planned out, to the 'enth degree'.....  I'd proverbially named the two little boy piglets 'Rolf' and 'Harris' and I was dropping the Rolf Harris Greatest Hits CD off to my friends' house, whilst she was in London, and her Husband was going to give the CD to his Sister, who was coming to stay for the weekend with her husband, and she was going to secrete it into The Mazda, which had a working CD player, and my friend was going to collect Two Little Boy Piglets in the back of The Mazda, and my friend's husband's sister was going to play the Two Little Boys Song on the journey home.  To make her laugh?
Forget that, because my friend caught the really bad snufflies, came home early, and totally ruined my Cunning Baldrick Plan?  So SHE accidentally took custody on the front door mat of the Rolf Harris CD, her husband hadn't got a CLUE what I was talking about to him when he phoned me from his office on the evening when he was supposed to be at home cleaning because he'd gone to work, and THEN, to add insult to injury, my friend emailed me this evening to break the news that I'm NOT Fairy Hogmother to Two Little Boys, but also a cutesy little girly piglet as well?

At which point, I emailed her back to ask if she'd pre-planned Miss Piggie, or had it smacked her a kiss on the chops and told her that if she didn't take her home RIGHT NOW, the frog would have to die?

Only two more sleeps till I get to meet my Fairy Hogchildren.
Bless you for Listening.
Keep Safe and Stay Warm.
X

A Clear Night and A Noisy Day!

My cat has developed a rather annoying habit of deciding to go out of the front door for A Royal Wee just as something brilliant comes onto my TV screen, when I've finally managed to wrestle the Remote Control from Trousers and he's gone to bed.  Unfortunately, she don't know how to open the front door, so I have to.  AND, she knocks on the door when she's ready to come back in......Once that's all over, I can settle back down with a glass of homemade Red Wine, deciding whether or not the telly programme is worthy, in which case, BC comes and joins me, or I retire to bed with a notebook , or my Quiche of Death Novel, depicting a typical local village produce show, where the newcomer cheated by buying a quiche from a deli, which turned into murder, and..... well, I've mentioned it before, and I'm a slow reader?!

The only reason I mention this, is that if my cat hadn't insisted on going out of the Front Door, I wouldn't have noticed what a beautifully clear night it was.  It was SO clear, that I was transfixed by what I could see, and for once, the batteries in my Finepix hadn't expired the last of their juice, and I was able to 'have a stab' at capturing what I saw.

To be perfectly honest, it was 'a stab in the dark', because what was visible in the clear sky didn't appear with any clarity in the viewfinder, and until Trousers put these pictures up on the blog for me (we've been a tad busy lately?) I had no idea if I'd successfully captured what I saw.

No tripod, just a glass of Homemade Red Wine on board, so prolly a bit 'shaken not stirred'?!

With the lamb population increasing at an alarming daily rate now, I've got to keep my eyes peeled, and my ears open to bleets of distress.  Largely, because Mother and Offspring tend to get parted by stock fencing as the Babes get more adventurous and inquisitive.  Luckily, Mums'n'Babies are spray-painted with numbers, so it's easy to pair them back up again.  The warmth and whoolliness of a lamb's tummy as you cup it in your hands and lift it back to the safety and security of the Mummy Milk Machine, is such a magical moment for me.

Freckles had to be rescued today, somehow getting into the First Time Mothers' Nursery quarters, where there were very little babies, and their mothers were naturally being over-protective, giving her an unnecessarily hard time.  So Wellie and BC waded straight in there to return her to Mum No.1 and Sibling 'Panda', so all ended rather happily.

Not an hour later,  No.43 had managed to get itself into The Nursery, fell asleep, woke up to find itself on the 'non-milk' side of the fence from Mum, and both were yelling at me to come with some urgency, which we duly did.  No. 43 has now been named 'No Latte'.....

It's an extraordinary thing to have your cat follow you wherever you go on the farm, and to take as much interest in everything that you're doing?  And actually, it's hillarious at the minute, on the strength of that, because some of the little jet black lambs are mistaking BC for one of their own whilst she's in the fields with me.....
Ebony, (Ivory's sibling) particularly loves my cat today.
At about 5pm every evening, as the lambs grow more confident in themselves, and each others' company, they start 'Boinging' - springing around like Spring Lambs so beautifully do.  And I'm here to tell you, no words could ever capture the pleasure that gives me to stand and watch, as they gang up like kids together, race around and have fun.

Which reminds me..... Ian and Medina's Piglets get 'scooped up' on Saturday to go and live with them (for a while?), and she absolutely blew me away that they've decided to call them Wellie's suggestion of ROLF and HARRIS, on the strength of them being 'Two Little Boys'.  What a proud HogMother I'm going to be....!

For now, Keep Safe, Stay Warm,
Wellie
xxx

PICS 'n' PIGS

This Spotty of mine in the garden is so incredibly sensitive to movement within the house, that it's virtually impossible to capture on camera.  This was taken after WEEKS of getting Spotty used to the feeder being in front of the Kitchen Window, rather than in the apple tree 'way over there'.   So the two of us have compromised rather beautifully.
My aim, however, is to encourage the two of my Spotties to bring their babies to feed here in a few months time, so that I can set the tripod up permanently in front of the kitchen sink, and never ever have to wash up dishes again on the strength of  interfering with wildlife?!

Now I'm pretty sure that you've all been formally introduced to my friends Ian and Medina since New Year.  To be perfectly honest with you, if you're at a loss as to just who these lovely peeps are, you should:
* Step Away From The Blog
* Put The Weapon Down, and Relax

I adore them, and they're about to have Piglets again. ...
On the strength of that, I am about to become a Hog Mother for the first time in my life, and I've promised them that I won't KNIT anything.
(See Wellie get the sewing machine out instead?!)
Keep Safe, Keep Warm.
For now, Your Wellie.X

o

READY STEADY.......LAUGH?

Minus 7 degrees predicted in the surrounding countryside to The Funny Farm tonight, and Plus 10 degrees  tomorrow lunchtime.  Is it any wonder that my newly germinated Greenhouse Seedlings are begging me for Therapy?!
Thankfully, we took delivery of another 500 litres of Oil during the week Children, so we've postponed the "Sh!t it's Cold Party", and you may as well chuck your invitations in the bin, because The Party is well and truly cancelled my friends!  Did I not tell you we ran out of Oil well over a fortnight ago?!  Shame on me!

I'm only sneaking in a Weenie Blog-Update for you (without photos), because Trousers is DEAD..... (I've told you before....don't make your own Story up?!) BUSY....., he's BUSY!  and has absolutely no time for me, let alone any of you lot, and hence, for now, no photos.
He DID manage to shove a Valentine Card across the table at me on Tuesday evening.
However, with no Kiss, no Flowers, no Chocolates, and certainly no Dinner Engagement.... Emma and I have decided to Elope.
No, I'm JOKING!...(Emma I'm SO Sorry to let you down like this Sweetie?X!)

Anyway, if you know me at all, you'll know me well, and I absolutely adore televisual advertisements.
My first job was as a Secretary in an Advertising Agency, (actually, so was my second, third and fourth?) but that's not important right now.....
My sense of humour began much much earlier, at my Father's side.  The two of us used to 'spar' off of each other with Jokes, and recounting funny adverts we'd seen on the telly, just as my paternal 'Poppa' used to with  the two of us.

When I eventually met my maternal Grandparents (I think I was in my Teens?), introduced to me as my 'Auntie Jean' and 'Uncle Mark',... I was so blown away to find that 'Uncle Mark' and I also shared a truly amazing Sense of Humour too.  Auntie Jean's 'accelerator foot' had a touch of humour in the driving seat of the old Saab, as I fondly recall...!
Whatever age you are, believe me, it's truly a relief to find common ground in adversity - allows you to 'start liking each other straight away', which is important if you want a positive connection for the future, which we absolutely did, God Bless the both of them.X

The 'START THE HEART' Advert earlier in the year with the gorgeous Vinnie Jones, completely 'tickled me', as a hardened Advertising Bunny, particularly now that I'm actually 'qualified' to pump your heart to the tune of 'Staying Alive, but not having to proclaim you Dead before I start...and I proudly have A Stertificate now - a proud moment in my life to 'potentially' save yours' if I happen to be nearby when you're feeling 'a bit peeky'.

And two other adverts have made me laugh out loud recently, are SNICKERS, in the bloke's Locker Room with JOAN COLLINS, and the DIRECT LINE (Red Telephone) advert with the beautifully camp STYLIST and the INSURANCE BLOKE ON THE PHONE.

I LOVE it when I laugh.

Wellie.X

New Life, A Sad Loss, and A Bit Of Fun

The very first 2012 Funny Farm Lambs have been born, and 'Freckles' here, completely at home basking in the warmth of the February Sun, has a smile on her chops that no sunbeam could ever claim to be warmer than...  Whereas 'Panda' seems to be startled to be on Planet Earth at all, bless her!

But sadly, with every wondrous birth in the world, it's tragically equated with an untimely death.  I wanted to mention this to you tonight, because, as a personal admirer of Whitney Houston I got close to this Superstar in a quite bizarre, but magical way.

Working as A Secretary in a London Advertising agency back in the 90's, I was in my twenties, and I think I'd once made a chocolate cake for my boss, the very lovely Susan, whose clients we worked on were Nikon Cameras and Chivers Hartley Jams.  Having made a marzipan Camera, and marzipan Strawberries to decorate the top of her birthday cake was a definite novelty to me, never having attempted anything like that before! But everyone had loved it, and I had such a personal 'blast' making it, that I knew it wouldn't be the last novelty cake I'd make.
A few years later, completely out of the blue, I received a telephone call at another Ad Agency where I was working, and the voice on the other end of the line asked if I would consider making a novelty cake for the 'after concert party' of a very high achieving pop singer.  Where on earth these people heard about me from is a mystery, but not remotely having an ego, not even contemplating that it'd be way too challenging, or that I might fail miserably and fall flat on my face, I said I'd do it.

Once I'd agreed, I was told that it was to be a cake for Whitney Houston, celebrating her newly awarded Triple Platinum Disc achievement, and that they would be presenting it to her at the special party they were holding for her after the concert.  They'd deliver the framed Triple Platinum Discs to the Ad Agency for me to take home, and make a replica Novelty Cake of it.

I suppose it didn't really 'sink in' that I was holding the original framed discs until I got them back home to Wendover in Buckinghamshire, and my then husband nearly fainted.  Anyway, to get on with the story, I made six 10 inch fruit cakes, because I had an abundance of time on my hands, and fruitcakes wouldn't spoil.  Then of course it was the marzipan layer - as flat as you can Wellie, because you're going to have to Royal Ice on top of this Luv, you're cr@p at Royal Icing, and it needs to be dead smooth to replicate the Cassette Cover, Platinums and Gold Frame.
Anyway, I'm not going to bore you with the endless weeks of work I did to achieve the finished cake, but let's just say that the board I mounted the cake on was a teeny bit bigger than the weeny cottage doorways, and it was a nerve-racking moment tilting it to get it to The Courier waiting at my Cottage Front Door to whizz it up to London in time for The Party!
And Yes, I did give the framed Triple Platinum Discs back!!
I feel very special and very privileged now to have been a small part of her celebrations that night.
Sadly, having meticulously taken 'step by step' photos of the cake's progress, not one single photo remains....so if anyone out there out of the kindness of their own hearts does have a photo of my Whitney Cake, I'd simply love a copy back for my own records and posterity......X.

Talking of Cake....when I sent my draft script email to the editor of our local parish magazine the other day, requesting a small paragraph be included into the March issue, the small paragraph read exactly this:

HANDS UP IF YOU LIKE CAKE !
Shelley and Medina are looking for a friendly posse of people to help us create this year's Produce Show Tea Party.  Candidates must have Own Pinny, Sense of Humour, and Appetite for Fun.
Phone Shelley on:........... for details of our First Pinny Meeting.

Like that?!

Now, given that this first card was given to Trousers for his Birthday from Wellie:

And this card was given to Trousers for his Birthday from Medina and Ian (The Queen and King of Marmalade)....Once I wrestle the Chainsaw out of Ian's hands for 'choosing' that card, I might marmalise him Children?!
M and I have the 'Qualifications' to get this Tea Party up and running.  Own Pinnies, Sense of Humour, Appetite for Fun......and our next Show Meeting is in about 10 hours, so I better go bed now!

I apologise for not tucking you up in bed this Sunday Night with A First Aid Course Story Boys'n'Girls, but if you're good, I'll do it next time.
Stay Safe and Keep Warm.
Wellie. X

ITTON VILLAGE HALL

Before I tell you about yesterday's fabulous Dib Dob First Aid Course, this is the beautiful rural setting of our Village Hall, where it all happens.

Having been in the Hall yesterday afternoon with seven other peeps, this afternoon I decided to spend an hour on my own with a long tape measure, a piece of graph paper, a pen, and my camera.  The Hall is 44ft by 22ft, and any available wall-space will hang The Art Exhibits in this year's Show.

The Stage is 17ft by 6ft, and will be capable of propping up 7 'Doors' against the walls to exhibit all the Photographic Entries, and the Trophy Table, from which, the Opening & Award Ceremonies take place.
There are twenty 6ft tables at my disposal to use as Showbenches.

And there's a separate room to the side of the Hall, which has it's own small kitchen, from which to serve Afternoon Teas, and have a Cake Stall.

It's a beautiful facility at our disposal, and one that we're incredibly fortunate to have.  Now that I've got all of its measurements, I can maximise every inch of available space for our 2012 Village Show in August.

Dib Dob Ging Gang Goolie

I don't know about you, but when I've ever moved house and gone to live in a completely alien environment from the one that I used to feel way more comfortable in, it scares the proverbial pants off of me.

As a Girl, you're driven by your Parents, in a car, whether to a Convent Boarding School....to Girl Guides,  or beautifully, to Finishing College in the Somerset Countryside. I never felt that I hugged my Dad quite so tightly enough to thank him with all of my heart for any of what he did for me before he passed away.....but truly, he worked his sox off for me.

As an Adult now, living with no children in my life, it's a very difficult story for me, but not a sad one. An English Rural Village happens to be where my heart truly belongs.  But Villagers do like to know just who you are, just why you're here, and exactly what you're doing in their village!  Which is kind of tricky, when you're not entirely sure of the reason yourself.

Isn't it gorgeous then, when you wake up one day and find that the very people around you, are what you've actually been missing all of your life?

Rightly, or wrongly, that feeling completely overwhelmed me today.
I drove for 'seconds' up to the village hall, into what is normally a grassy field that suffices as a Car Park.
There was a familiar face of a chap that I humped (don't make your own story up!) BALES OF HAY with onto a trailer, along with Trousers and another chap at the end of the season last year for someone else's  Sheeps to devour during the colder months, and they were spreading scalpings, and making 'A Proper Car Park' in the field for The Village Hall to use, on Farmers' Land?
No more thanks given than a nod and a word, but none more needed as far as we were concerned.
I was just about to try and put that into words, and then realised that actually, that's not possible.
It isn't words.... It's a feeling. And it's about doing everything that you can for your own community.
Wellie.X