Want Something Done?.....

... Ask a Busy Person! And I am STILL knee-deep in preserving the bountiful harvest from our new Funny Farm Kitchen Garden. Which is making me kind of nervous for next year, because I've really not grown much this year, in comparison to what I'm used to growing, and we don't have 5 freezers anymore?!.... So where exactly am I going to find the time in 2010 to preserve all the extra produce that I'm proposing to grow?! Well, first off, I'm going to have to get a bit more 'cute', and plan to grow Early, Mid-Season, and Late varieties of our favourite fruit and veg, so that we can use more of it really really fresh from the garden, spreading the harvest, and only preserving the excess (yeah, right!)

But I have also had 'speaks' with chefs from one or two select local pubs and restaurants, who have expressed a genuine interest for my excess produce, which was nice.

So, in the photo above, I've harvested two ounces of fresh basil leaves, and blitzed them with fresh parmesan, garlic, Xtra Virgin Olive Oil and Pinenuts, for our very delicious Pesto, and I've portioned it up into 'dollops' for the freezer, for later use.

I've been told by 'Next Door', that I should be superbly proud of these Peppers, which, actually, I am..... and I've made a really rich Lamb Mince mixture to fill these with, to squirrel away into the freezer.

Talking of Peppers and squirreling..... with some of the rest of the bountiful harvest, I've halved them, (peppers, not squirrels) smeared the inner flesh with the remaining basil pesto, layed a few of my home-blushed oven-dried Roma tomatoes inside, and they are 'open-freezing' as we speak. When fully frozen, I'll pack them into freezer bags, exclude the air (neat trick with a plastic drinking straw!) They will be brought back to life over the winter months with the aid of grilled goats cheese, and/or some rather gorgeous sweet'n'sour borlotti beans from my 'Squirrel Dresser' store-cupboard, which is in the hall (dark and cool environment).

Below - just how much does Trousers love me? A whole load of scrummy pristine wooden pallets to make new Compost Bins - that's how much!! Thank you Darling..... Mmwwaa!

And here is my 'Squirrel Dresser' in the Hall:

I've been a bit more adventurous this year, in the variety of preserving recipes and methods. I reckon that once you actually own jars, of whatever description, the world is bound to be your oyster, and to this end, I have my very favourite client now saving all of the baby-food jars in order to feed my addiction.

And, actually, the smaller quantity Baby Food Jars, I think, will serve a very useful purpose over the next year or two, given that I'm game to try out a multitude of new recipes, for different culinary experiences.

Below, I have picked proper native hedgerow rosehips, with a view to trying out some Rosehip Syrup, Rosehip Jelly, Rosehip This, and Rosehip That. If I've got a small Baby Jar of it and it tastes positively disgusting, I've not got 'a shed load' of disgusting goo to get rid of.

Then again, if it's gorgeous....!

As you can see, Wellie never misses an opportunity. What was once a boring old black splashback to a cooker for one person, becomes an everyday blackboard reminder to one of the busiest peoples that Trousers (allegedly) 'knows and loves'.

Thank you for your lovely comments on our new blog updates.

We are thrilled that you are thrilled.

Take Care till next time,

X

Part II September 2009

Welcome to Part II of Down on the Funny Farm September Update.

See Wellie completely Arse About Face dig new beds for flowers, herbs and Raspberries. Mind you, I'm quite pleased actually, because I've inadvertently lost a stone and a half somewhere along the line in the last four months, which'll be great for my Birthday Holiday Bikini, no?!

These beds I've taken personal responsibility for clearing and digging, because they're full of stones.
I have the patience of a Saint. Trousers doesn't. Say no more! And I have stuff I want to plant before we go away, so I need the beds ready now, not in the Spring.

Trousers has already dug over the entire new Fruit Garden which will be ready to cultivate next Spring (which took 7 hours and he couldn't walk for two days). Mind you, I ferried the FYM back and forth from way over the other side of the farm for the same amount of time to fill said double-dug trenches...... (and couldn't even get out of bed, let alone 'stand' the following morning - pathetic....) and so today, Trousers took a well-earned rest with the Sunday papers, in the privacy of his own back yard.



As far as the design for our new Potager goes, I've tried to keep things very simples, but eminently workable. The mistake I made in our last Potager, was that in the winter months, if it wasn't all planted up with vegetables, it looked like a very bare Allotment, and given that it's right outside your kitchen door, and you're looking at it every single day of the year, that can be a very unattractive view for nearly 6 months of the year.
So once again, I've put my 'Student Hat' on, and gone back to the drawing board.
Honestly. Never be ashamed of making mistakes. I'm not. Every time I make a mistake, I learn something new.

Okay. The photo below shows the start of what will major for my Herb Garden. But probably 'tickled' with other decorative seasonal additions like Bulls Blood Beetroot, Spring Onions, Edible Flowers, Salad Crops etc. I've identified since mid-April exactly how the sun affects this area of my new garden, so I am armed with its possibilities.
And time will tell as to when I come close to 'getting it right' - especially with the addition of a few evergreens and seasonal bedding plants.

And below, this is a sneak preview of potentially the new Fruit Garden.

Nothing is set in stone yet, but I plan to have the Asparagus Bed along the fence (all 24 crowns with about 3 or 4 different varieties, cropping at different times) with protective netting between them and The Girls in the field (the sheep).

I've put a tremendous amount of thought and planning into the very little that I have shown you a glimpse of here, and daily there's much much more, but I keep it to myself in order not to scare Trousers too much!

And naturally, there's a complete 'shed load' of preserving going on at the minute too.

Here we have 'PlumBeena', which is like Ribeena, but Plum (on the right), and on the left we have a yummy Chinese kind of spicy Plum Sauce.

Today I've bottled Home Sunblushed Oven Dried Tomatoes in Olive Oil, and I am knee-deep in Tomatoes, Sweet Red Peppers and Chillies. This week Children, I are MOSTLY preserving!

Have a great week, and hopefully see you next.

X

Back at The Funny Farm in September

After selling our cottage, with an intended move to France, (which had to be shelved for now), we have finally finally settled into The Funny Farm completely. It is absolutely brilliant here, and my very Black Gardening Cat has got over the trauma of being unceremoniously 'shoved' into a plastic Cat Carrier Basket on the day of our move, and has become an exquisitely loving little black panther, that neither Trousers nor I recognise from the semi-feral beauty that we once allowed into our lives nearly a decade ago... A fantastic transformation of happiness in her that is so truly inspiring.

I must now apologise.......With it being such a long time since Trousers and I last 'blogged', we'd forgotten that our pictures come up here 'in reverse order' (!) and so you'll just have to 'go with the flow' peeples?!

I've never grown Grapes before, so - armed with the knowledge from the Farmer's Son that these ones tend to end up 'small and pippy', I've completely 'winged it' and tried to thin out the bunches a bit. And then I read somewhere that you should never touch the grapes with your hands. Well. Too Late Too Late my friends, I'd already gone and done that? But nonetheless, I shall take great pride in sampling them, however small and pippy they are. I can always try and improve on 'small and pippy' for next year, eh?!

In the same greenhouse, I've also been fortunate enough to take custody of a mature Peach Tree and a ditto of Nectarine. I was underwhelmed earlier in the year to find that we had NIL Peaches, and the only Nectarine just 'fell off' in my hand before it was ripe or edible!
Wellie was well and truly Gutted actually children.....

Anyhow - we've had a crackin' year with the Winter Squashes in my book (given that we moved mid spring and the veg garden wasn't here?!) So, even though I'm patting myself on the back, I feel that it's praise suitably well-deserved, because without having moved that mountain of well-rotted manure from the other end of the farm, I can assure you, you wouldn't be now looking at these little beauties at all!

But I did manage to start my tomato plants off in The Little Girl's Greenhouse back at The Cottage, and with a bit of TLC in the warmth of the new North-East facing conservatory (much lighter that the old one) they did fantastically well, and have probably been the best Tommies I've ever grown. Seriously. But I did sow them on the day that was forecast Biodynamically as being the best day to sow Tomatoes, so I'm well chuffed.

Talking of Well Chuffed.... Trousers does, no? Our friend Piggie gave me some Marshmallow Strawberry runners a while back, and we built a raised 'table top' strawberry planter to facilitate easier picking and less bovver from slugs'n'snails, and this little harvest was an evening's picking.

So I promptly took Bob Flowerdew's advice, and stuck them in a Kilner Jar with a litre of White Rum, put it in a dark place, and shook the jar every day for a couple of months! and I shall probably go completely Bonkers and make some Strawberry Rum Leather Chewy Sweeties from the pulp extracted from the alcohol when I'm ready to strain it. It's a toss-up between that and Strawberry Rum & Redcurrant Jam. Ooh! what am I like?!

Trousers has got more photos to show you in our continued progress on The Funny Farm, so it's worth popping back in a while to check it out if you're interested.

In the meantime, thank you for watching.

X

Sorry... AWOL!

Completely 'Absent Without Leave' - and I DO beg your pardon, but I have been up to my proverbial armpits, as you may, or may not imagine.

There's Good News, and there's Bad News; and it kind of goes Good/Bad, Good/Bad, Good/Bad.

Get my drift?

The fantastically good news is that our friends The Piglets came to stay last weekend and we all had a complete ball, they loved the place, we never stopped laughing, we went to our local village produce show, the village fete, where both boys won a coconut each (!) (and got drowned into the beer tent, thankfully!) and next day we went with Mad As A Box Of Spanners Rachie and her gorgeous Fiance and The Piggies to a fantastically enjoyable Hog Roast in aid of The Alzheimers Society, which is close to the heart of this village, and our lovely Egg Lady.

Village Life is so rich still in this community, and whilst the majority of those taking part are more shall we say 'elderly' than Trousers and I (!!), it is our pleasure to be a part of their village, and we look forward to whatever it may bring.

The bad news, is that Mrs. Piglet had our camera in her handbag when they returned home, and I had her ballpoint pen. It's difficult to say at this juncture..... but I'm betting that maybe I'm more miffed than she is. May I send you the postage darling for it's return soonest?!

I've had a lovely time ferrying well-rotted manure from the yard to my new Ornamental Kitchen Garden, and not ONCE have I slipped into the Slurry Pit whilst Trousers has been at work (phew! - careful footwork there by Wellie children!!)

And the weeds, oh, the weeds! It's a good job you can't see my Onion Bed? Actually, in all honesty, I can't see my Onion Bed! but in amongst the perpetual showers today (with my waterproofs on) I attempted to weed the best looking onions to maybe salvage just SOMETHING useable for the kitchen.... (boo hoo, boo hoo)

Unfortunately Scarey55 my darling, I've abandoned the Jermor Shallots, as quite frankly, they're Cr@p (did you find the same?!)

However, I planted some of Hazel at the Hill's Runner Bean Seeds, and they're doing okay darling, and my cat is enjoying the shade/rain-cover that the wigwams provide her in her noo garden!

All of my immature figs got picked off by birds, as did the ruddy peaches, the immature Stella Cherries (all two of them) got knocked off when it fell over in the wind, BUT! I have two sour Morello Cherries and one Nectarine to my name still - how lucky am I children?!

I can also report from Down on The Funny Farm, that the slugs and snails and greenfly are playing complete havoc with my Aubergines. Next year, Wellie is declaring war.

The Tomatoes, Peppers and Cape Gooseberries, Chillies and Grapes are kind of top banana right now, as are the fresh herbs - so I mustn't grumble, eh?!

I can't begin to describe to you the sheer excitement I feel at being on the cusp of designing and creating my ultimate Kitchen Garden. With all the mistakes that I've foolishly made at The Cottage, I'm giving extra time and thought to it this time around.

My plans encompass every aspect of creating a garden that's pretty AND productive, all year round. A tall order, obviously, but well worth the time spent in the planning.

So, I'll see you next time I'm here.
Thank you so very much for watching.....
X

Wellie..... Versus.....?

Blackbird! This Gooseberry variety is evidently 'Pax', and the most accessible to The Blackbird, and he's been watching me all morning plant some Red Onions Seedlings, and because I've noticed a few more stray 'fallen' fruits below the bush, I'm inclined to think that he's responsible. Although the books do say that birds are less interested in Gooseberries.... But, given that it's the smallest and thornless, and I've painstakingly 'thinned' the fruits to 3" apart, like Bob Flowerdew advises, I'm taking no prisoners this year in my noo Kitchen Garden!

This is the bed where the pectin-rich gooseberry, another gooseberry, the blackcurrants, the worcesterberry and the redcurrants are. And given that this bed, whilst a tad 'shady' was the bed more free of weeds than any of the others - needs definitely must - I chose to home all of my pot-rooted shallots and newly bought onion seedlings into here, just to get them finally planted, or suffer the consequences of no crop at all.

Whatever crop I get, will be something that I've not had to buy in the supermarket, even if it's not up to my usual standard, am I bovvered? No, I'm not.

And just to show you how very unorganised we are still since our move to The Funny Farm..... This is the lovely view from our sitting room window?

Thanks Trousers - that's very artistic?!

But Hey! With last week being the Radio 2 Week of 'Love Where You Live' Campaign, I couldn't possibly bring you my Funny Farm Blog Update, without sharing with you just why I 'Love Where We Live'....

Wellie's Grass Cutter in the foreground, and Mother Nature's Grass Cutter in the Background.

No further words necessary on that score.

So! Trousers has been working his SOX off, and Wellie has been trying to get the Kitchen Garden up and running - and it is very slowly taking shape peoples.

I'm determined that Trousers and I will get a good crop of most things this year, and then plan 'Big Stylie' over the winter, for a complete Kitchen Garden Makeover through to next Spring.

When hopefully, you'll be able to see a definite improvement.

As always, thank you for listening...

And see you very soon?

X

Rain Stopped Play.......

Unlike Wimbledon this year, down on The Funny Farm, rain stopped play - so Wellie continued playing indoors, with potting the tommies into their final buckets where they're growing on nicely in the conservatory. The one nearest you by the kitchen door, is one of many 'Roma' Plum Tomato bush-types, hence the conical wire support for it to scramble untidily over without making a nuisance of itself and getting on my nerves later in the summer. The fruits will be halved and slowly sunblush-dried in the Rayburn, and preserved in olive oil for use over the winter months, in salads, casseroles and pasta dishes, when buying of supermarket tomatoes is a complete waste of time and money in taste-terms.

Do you think the cordon tomatoes growing up the metal spirals have grown since you were last here? I do! And the Winter Squash plants have grown SO much, they're using the tomato plants to attach their tendrils to as they rocket skywards - and there are signs of flowers coming. The varieties are 'Sweet Dumpling', 'Butternut', 'Uchikiki Kuri' and 'Turks Turban', and I think I rather overdid it on the 'Sweet Dumpling' front, as more seeds seemed to germinate than I remember planting, so of course they all got potted on rather than thrown away (as ya do!)

And here below, is my work in progress project: The Kitchen Garden.

I've defined the shape of the grass paths, and managed to get some Roundup Concentrate sprayed onto the triangular 'beds' in the tiniest window of opportunity when it WASN'T actually raining or blowing a gale for about five minutes last week!

And in the background, you can see the topiary box balls that we dug up before we moved. I'm desperate for them to survive, as they'd prolly be worth a few hundred in the shops? When the weather stops, I need to empty a bag of John Innes No.3 into each of their trugs, as Trousers did his best to remove them with a good rootball, but they had other ideas apparently. And it'll help to absorb the moisture I'm going to need to give them all summer-long to give them a fighting chance of survival.

Mmm.... Fresh Strawberries! all 'runners' potted on into bigger pots this last week so they won't dry out as quick and, hopefully, their roots will start to enjoy the nutrients in the new compost, and boost the fruit-swell. The strawberry plants in the draughty dutch greenhouse are streets ahead of these now, and I better give them a high potash liquid feed this week. I'm not sure how the self-sown Chervil herb seedlings in the same troughs will like it, but hey ho!

And before Rain Stopped Play - this is what I'd mostly been doing? Way back in the spring, I'd planted my shallots into small pots and six-cell trays to begin rooting, so I've been desperate to finally get them into the ground. The rest will have to wait now until tomorrow, when I hope the weather will be a little kinder to me.

Mind you - the inclement weather has meant that I've been forced to unpack a few more cardboard boxes, finding my funky RHS Ankle Wellie Boots in the process - so if it doesn't stop raining, at least my feet will be dry!

And in readiness of our friends, The Piglets, I've been dyeing bedspreads, sewing valances and generally making up The Boudoire in The Guest Wing...!

But we're settling into The Funny Farm really well now, and so is The Cat. X

Straight-Jacket & Potatoes?

Potatoes, Potatoes, Potatoes. From left to right, Anya, Charlotte and Can't Remember (because I earthed up the label as well as the haulms (silly Wellie)! But as you can see, they're coming on okay, and the rest of the chitted ones of the same varieties are simply begging me to plant them. I've purposely delayed their planting in order to stagger the harvest, so we get that yummy 'just dug noo potato taste' every time.

It needs no explanation as to why I took this next picture, does it? And if you were standing next to me, I dare you not to fall over backwards with the intoxicating perfume of it. I did.....
(oh no, that was Pinot Grigio me thinks!)

And meet 'Moneypenny' - my noo Truck. I've named her that because the wording on the spare wheel cover on the back says: 4x4xBond. Trousers nearly wet himself when I told him. He thought it 'very clever', so I feel suitably patted on the head, as you can imagine.....




In The Back Yard today, there's been all manner of stuff going on. I had serious plans of spraying Roundup Concentrate in selected areas, but my Gardening Cat wouldn't go back to bed, insisting on being with me up until 4 o'clock this afternoon, and I eventually managed to do it by the time Trousers got home from work.

Still - it gave me some quality time with her, whilst I swotted up my favourite cookbooks to find out in advance what the hell to do with so many GooseGogs this year. Trousers isn't keen on them, so that's brilliant. I might have to invent a Gooseberry Smoothie?!



And then we come to the 'really what happened today' part of the Funny Farm Blog, because I potted-on my Gardeners' Delight, Tigarella and Ferline Cordon Tomato plants into their final pots (builders buckets from Homebase at £1 each).

And having done that, I was then able to introduce them to their spiral 'supports' - which work fabulously well, as all you do is wind the leading shoot round. So, no tedious tying - just pinching out of 'armpits' to keep the cordon nice and tidy, and concentrate its energies into the fruit trusses rather than a rambling chaos of bushy growth.

'Ferline F1' variety is blight-tolerant, so will eventually be grown outside, and being in a bucket with a handle is jolly useful for moving it inside and outside to get 'hardened off' between now and the beginning of June.

Now. For those of you who aren't 'keeping up' with the story of Wellie and Trousers having moved house recently, and our washing machine having died some months back.....

We've taken delivery of a noo washing machine this week, and I'm rather proud to announce to you, that there isn't one single item of dirty washing left.

Unfortunately, that means that there's a Bl@@dy Big Pile of Ironing though!

Guess what Wellie will MOSTLY be doing this week Children......

Thank you for watching, and I hope you're all receiving us loud'n'clear now since that very kind Hazel at the Hill saved Trousers's proverbial bacon last week by tweaking a few knobs and pushing the odd button or two. I'd of done it myself, but I only know how to turn the computer on at the wall?! So Bless You Angel. X.