I know, I know..... Wellie's prize Turks Turban Pumpkin looks a bit like 'A Smacked Arse'?



I know, I know, it's way too tempting, but I couldn't possibly................

And I'm here to tell you Children, it is indeed one Ginormous One.

There's something rather 'unctious' about it that rather 'oddly' makes me want to nurture it, but then again, I am largely in love with the stuff that I grow, and I make not one jot of an excuse for the love I put into growing it, harvesting it or cooking it - whether it's a sprig of Sweet Marjoram, or a Smacked Arse of Pumpkin.



Every single year that I grow stuff, I get more and more in love with the very brilliant Irish chef (Denis Cotter), because it gives me more time on this planet to try out each and every one of his gorgeous vegetarian recipes. This week, his Green Curry graced our table......Neither Trousers, nor I, are vegetarian, and you don't have to be as far as I'm concerned, to enjoy his brilliant combination of flavours, because you can always serve a bit of what you fancy on the side, as 'The Actress Said To The Bishop'.



I don't know about you, but we've had a shed-load of the wet stuff p-p-p-persisting it down here lately, although I did manage to get a mini-second-worth of weeding done one afternoon this week whilst the Autumn Bliss were rotting on their stalks/the Pigeons were pecking the hearts out of my Summer Cabbages/my Gardening Cat was weeing 'wherever' in my seedbeds, and...............




Don't be fooled .... I know she looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but butter does indeed melt in her mouth my friends, and she has me, and the good Lord Trousers, wound round her little finger so often, and so tightly, that it's beginning to restrict the bloodflow. And nor would we wish it any other way, because she's absolutely gorgeous, and we utterly adore her.



Now I promise you that I HAVE actually had better things to do with my life this week up until now, and I'm sure that Trousers and my mate Jim will champion the cause for 'watching paint dry', but actually, that HAS been, largely, what I've been doing with my Tomato 'Armpit Cutting Plants', because every day I've been visiting them in The Draughty Dutch Greenhouse, winding them around their support strings, shaking them to distribute the pollen, feeding and watering - and I am completely gobsmacked at how much growth they are putting on, each and every single day, because I promise you, you can actually see them growing....and since striking the cuttings, there's potentially 4 or 5 viable flower/fruit trusses to each plant now, and I've got designs of pinching out the tips of them this weekend.



So how sad am I?

Unfortunately, The Draughty Dutch Greenhouse is very draughty, with whole panes of glass or perspex missing, torrential rain oozing in every single crevice, moss growing between the overheads, but I constantly remind myself of how lucky I am to have it, because I don't know what I'd do without it.

I've moved the Aubergine plants to BC's Greenhouse now, having de-foliated them rather a lot of old and rather 'Red Spider-Mited' leaves.

My three favourite men all seem to be a bit busy, but please, trust me..... you'd be a wise bloke NOT to stick your hand up when I ask the question just now, that if anyone knows of a really willing handy-bloke at all, that I have a million and one DIY stuff to be done, because they'd only bite your head off?