As Trousers discovered for himself this Saturday morning, Wellie has had her trusty toolbox out this week, and done absolute wonders with what blokes call Dee Eye Wye.
Because it isn't Rocket Science, and they're embarassed to see that you've done it without them, let alone the fact that it's days and days before they've even noticed that you have?
Girls - Don't be remotely afraid of it. It's Common Sense with a capital C and a capital S.....
I adore Rainbows, don't you? and this one turned into THE most magnificent double rainbow, which just 'blew me away' (metaphorically, obviously, or I wouldn't be writing the blog now...)
You see, the thing that I'm learning with having a productive Orchard in The Sick Sheep Field, just over the fence from your back garden, is that it's a complete Free For All.
Not only do the Bluetits think that they have 'Carte Blanche' over your yet unripe Pears...... the truth is, that they DO have Carte Blanche over your yet unripe Pears, the young Steers WILL scratch that annoying itch on the underside of the already struggling Pear Tree that's desperately trying to creep over our side of the fence for some kind of survival respite, and basically, you have to witness it, smack your forehead with your right hand, get over it, and just mentally move on.
Not content with hoovering up the Orchard Floor twice a day of the Bramley Seedlings Children, the Steers are wrapping their salivating tongues round whole dripping branching of Plums, and whilst I've got a tap in perfectly good working order in both the kitchen, and the conservatory, I'm making a mental note to pick my plums from much higher up already.
Give me a worm sandwich or a mud pie as a child, and I was happy as Larry (whoever Larry was back in those Good Ol' Days, when we were actively encouraged to, eh?!....)
Nowadays, I'm up to my Proverbial Armpits in produce, and I only have myself to blame for that, thankfully.
I've got THAT much to do, and not enough hours in the day to do it all in, and then I calm down, tell myself to just 'Get A Grip Wellie', not to be such a ruddy Drama Queen, give myself a good slap, and just get on with it.
However, if Himself or The Cat start.... I don't muck about... I just get the Paint Balling Kit out, no?!
You're very special for being here, so thank you, because I know you enjoy reading this from many corners of the globe. X.